The Inevitable: Jar Jar Binks Gets Killed
by THE PETE PETERSON EXPERIENCE
Summary: It was inevitable. Finally the thing that ruined Star Wars will be destroyed in gory ways not once but twice. R & R. Rated M for gore.It you haven't noticed yet, it's a twoshot character death.
1. Chapter 1

The Inevitable: Jar Jar Binks Dies A Horrible Death

A/N:I figured It was coming. Here you go Star Wars fandom(s), The Death Of Jar Jar. Enjoy. Sadly, my only OC evil Andy won't be appearing.This fic takes place during Episode I:The Phantom Menace.Finally I can kill what ruined Star Wars...one shot character death.

Qwi-gen Jiin was leading Obi Wan and Jar Jar through the Naboo palace.

"Wesa gonsa gonna goinga toodah placa nowa owa?" Jar Jar sqweeked.

"We are almost...THERE!" Qwi Gon said. He shoved Jar Jar into a room with a window and a dial on the door. Obi Wan put a lock on the door. Qwi Gon slowly turned the dial. The room Jar Jar was in began to warm up.

"Oh, its likea sauna..." Jar Jar said.Obi-Wan turned the dial again.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Jar Jar said. His skin started to burn. Obi-WAn turned the dial again, this time to MAX POWER. Jar Jar's eyes popped like marshmalllows and fell to the floor. They sizzled on the ground. He started to melt like a fat kid's candy bar on a July afternoon. His body turned into a pile of orange goo and he died, Jar Jar was dead.

"Good job, my friend." Qui-Gon said to Obi Wan.

You know what? I hate Jar Jar so much, I'm gonna kill him again in chapter 2. Go read it.J-The Ievitable. 


	2. Jar Jar Die A Horrible Violent Death

The Inevitable: Jar Jar Binks Dies A Horrible Death

A/N:Here's another more gory chapter where Jar Jar dies yet again.

Obi Wan, Qui Gon and Jar Jar walked through the forest of naboo.

"Weesa alomst dere." Jar Jar siad,

"I don't want to go to his city if there's any more retards like him in it." Obi-Wan said to qui-gon

"Patience Obi wan." qui gon said. Jar Jar stopped and looked forward.

"Weesa better be getting outta dis place. Meesa be seeing dwoids." Jar Jar said. he turned around to see that Obi wan and Qui gon were gone."Where they go?" Jar Jar said. He stopped and saw something disturbing. two magnaguards wtih elcetro staffs.

"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jar Jar screamed. The magnaguards ran up to jar jar and cut off one of his stupid looking ears with their electro staffs. Blood flowed out like a river of blood. the other took out some shuriken(ninja stars) and launched them at Jar Jar.

"DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!" the guard screamed as he threw 87 ninja stars into Jar Jar.

"ARGH, Stop it? WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Jar Jar screamed as the other guard hammered the starz deeper into Jar Jar's back, causing gallonss of blood to flow out. Jar Jar realized that his severed ear was on the ground and with the speed of a retard he told the world of his discovery.

"AH! MEESA EARS GONE!" Jar Jar said.One of the guards got on top of the other and dropkicked Jar Jar square in the jaw, breaking it like a piece of cardboard.

"Ow." Jar Jar said.He felt around for his jaw. It was broken like a piece of glass. The other guard kicked Jar Jar in the groin.

"Ow." Jar Jar screamed. The guard took out a lightsaber and cut off jar jar's knees.Jar Jar lay on the ground, groveling in pain.His blood spewed across the soil. The guards ran away. Jar Jar was not dead though. He looked up and saw something disturbing. It was General Grievous.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Jar Jar said. Grivous took out 4 lightsabers and cut up Jar Jar like a sushi chef would. Jar Jar was in millions of tiny bloody pieces.

THE END or will I kill Jar Jar in chapter 3?... 


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Bark. Imade another chapter. Why? cuz I love you.

Star Wars: Jar Jar Dies

Jar Jar was doing what he loved best. Masturbating. He looked at a picture of Jabba The Hutt.

"Oh, mesa big izz you Jabba." He was almost done.

"JAR JAR!! WHAT THE FUCK!!?!?!?!?!?" Obi Wan said as he walked in.

"Nothin."

"YOU ARE IN THE JEDI COUNCIL YOU RETARD!! THE COUNCIL MUST HEAR OF THIS IMMEDIATLY,"

"But Mese love masturbation!!!!" Jar Jar screamed.

"Oh fuck it, I'm just going to kill you now." Obi Wan drew his lightsaber and threw it at Jar. It only made his arm bleed.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"Shit! Why didn't I cut off your hands? Then you couldn't masturbate." Then Yoda walked in.

"The fuck is going on here what? he said.

"This motherfucker was masturbationg."

"Fucking kill his ass I will." Yoda said. He was pissed.

Jar jar then cut off his package with a lightsaber.

"THERE!!! NOW LEAVE MESA ALONES!!!"

"DIE FUCKER!!!" Obi Wan said as he took out a knife and jabbed it into Jar Jar's gut. He started twisting it to make Jar Jar suffer.

"OH FUCK!!!!" Jar Jar screamed. Yoda poured some salt on his bloody wound to make him hurt more.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MESA HURT!!!!" he cried. Yoda cut off Jar Jar's ears and stuffed them down his gullet.

"FACK!!!!" Jar Jar couldn't breathe. His trachea was clogged. He was starting to go from orange to blue. He swallowed them, It was the only way he couldn't choke. Obi-Wan grabbed him and threw him onto a nearby tablesaw.

"Please Obi...NO!!!!!!!!!!" Jar Jar screamed as Obi-Wan turned the saw on and directed Jar Jar to its blade. Blood spattered everywhere as a big gaping wound was now in Jar Jar's back. But Jar Jar was still alive. He was close to death.

"Attempt to kill him more we will." Yoda said. He picked up a fork and jabbed it in Jar Jar's left eye and pulled it out.

"NOOOOO!!!! MESE NO HAVING NO EYES!!!!!!!"

"Shut up, we haven't got yout other eye..."Obi wan said. He pulled the other eye out."Yet."

Obi-Wan and Yoda then started ripping out Jar Jar's organs from his bloody wound. He was starting to finally die.

"PLEASE!!! NO MORE!!!!" Jar jar said. Mace Windu walked in and shot him with a blaster.

"There. That mother fucker is straight up dead."

The End 


	4. KS

Chapter 4: The Lil' Wang Chapter

The two guards dragged Jar Jar into the courtroom.

"What are his charges?" the judge says.

"Masturbation and other shit." the guys said.

"The penalty is: being locked in a closet with the Octavarius. Case fucking closed." the judge said.

"What is octavatis? jar jar said.

"HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"What isa so funny?"

"It was nice knowing you Jar Jar." Boss Nazz said.

"Fuck yousa."

The guards dragged jar jar into a closet and locked the door. There, a pale creature looked at him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" jar jar screamed. he was a nasty looking kid, He looked liked a retard. He called himself the octavarius because he like octopuses and jars.

"I LOVE BEING A FREAK!" the creature said as he started to fondle the shit out of Jar jar.

"NOOOOOOOO!" jar jar screamed.

then he did the unthinkable and jar jar was dead.

The end


End file.
